Starting Over

There are moments in your life, if you pay attention, that are so significant that they leave impressions deep inside of you. Sometimes they are quiet moments that even a whisper seems to disrupt them. Sometimes they are so loud that you long for those quiet times. At times they are convenient, gentle, and soothing. Others are intrusive, abrasive, and cold. Some moments are passionate while other moments are flat and void of life.

Like a carpenter's hand shaping a small piece of wood, these impressions have the power to create something new out of the old. Over time, these moments help shape you, meld you into the person that you are.

This past year I found myself with a large accumulation of such memories from years past and I simply couldn't let them go. I was at a point in my life that I needed to get answers. I needed to search for something more. I needed tangible answers. I found that I was looking at myself in the mirror, stark naked, and questioning what I saw in the man staring back at me.

Who was I?

What was I?

What really mattered?

And so I began my in depth look at my life, my faith, and everything that I believed. I was amazed at what I saw. So many questions flooded through my heart and mind. I simply couldn't let it go. I was rocked to my core, shaken to my knees, and left out to dry. I HAD to find out the truth. I needed to find the truth!

The trouble with this was that when I asked myself one question, it didn't necessarily lead to an answer. More often than not, one question led to another which led to another. Before I knew it, I had a spider web of questions; all completely separate and yet intertwined.

So I did what any introvert with an abundance of journals would do. I wrote down all of these questions. Along with this I journaled out my thoughts, fears, prayers, and general ramblings. As I sat back and re-read what I wrote, I was amazed at what was coming forth.

Answers, deep answers. Life altering answers. Its an accumulation of everything I've been and done mixed with everything God is and has done.

Its these very questions and answers that I want to share with you. I want to encourage you with where I found new life. I desire to challenge you where I found death. Through these moments I found a new depth to my faith, a deeper understanding to God, and what God really wants from me.

I hope that you find something useful within this blog. Perhaps you'll even find that "Hey...I'm not alone!"